Intellectual Poison

One non-aggression pact from nirvana

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Email: erik at intellectualpoison dot com AIM: fenriq911

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May 13, 2008
Note to the Giants
Pitching to Lance Berkman is almost as stupid as pitching to Barry Bonds when he had his A game swing going. The Giants lost last night's game despite an excellent effort from Barry Zito (who looked good and carried himself with confidence that's been missing for the last few months) because they tried to pitch to Berkman.

The guy is absolutely white-hot right now. Do not give him any pitches to hit. Walk him. Frustrate him. Do not try to beat him, let him beat himself.

Unless its Cain or Lincecum pitching AND its early in the game (i.e. fresh arms) there's just no upside to going after him, most especially with a man on because that makes his dongers more painful.

Other than that, I think Zito pitched a helluva game and hope he's turned a corner and will resume some of his swagger from when he had his confidence and could throw that big old nasty curve on ya.

Note, I'm advising the Giants in direct opposition to my fantasy baseball needs as Berkman is one of my studs (along with Josh Hamilton). I love the Giants THAT much!

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The Work Conundrum
One of the most difficult aspects of job hunting for me is trying to narrow down my search into a single job title. Professionally my experience pegs me as a Public Relations/Marketing wonk but the lines between my PR/Marketing skills blur considerably when you toss in my recent and relevant site tech support work, my previous data analysis and regurgitation, the conferences I've organized and run, my photography experience and a dozen other skills that are relevant but make me harder to pigeonhole.

Add into my experiences, the intangibles that I bring to the table, my creativity, my positivity, my drive, my ability to either step up and run the show or work in the background, my inherent geekiness and love of technology, my evangelism and innate curiosity and I end up in a pile of possible job titles that can be applied to me but none quite fit me as perfectly as I'd like.

My ideal job position at this stage would be to work as the business equivalent of the sweeper position in soccer. The sweeper can go to where he/she is needed the most, either in direct support of the offensive effort or getting back and providing extra horsepower on defense.

My ideal job title will be a mouthful: PR/marketing/tech/advertising projects leader generalist with evangelism, training and tech-passion.

My ideal company would be: a smaller tech-focused company just on the cusp of greater things, in need of workers with vision, flexibility and capability to shepherd multiple concurrent projects.

Oh yeah, and to top the whole work thing off. I met with my boss on Friday and he was happy to tell me that there will very likely be a job for me in the fall if I'm still looking for work. Which is nice to know. It won't be at my current schools as two of the three have lost the funding for my position but that's alright. At this point, I'm going to keep my current job in my back pocket and hope I don't have to play it though its nice to know I do have it, sort of.

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May 12, 2008
Inspirational Quotes from So-So Movies
We've been on a little bit of a movie watching tear of late, a tear for us is getting through two or three movies in a week.

Part of this tear is because our local supermarket has installed an easy means of movie renting and returning without the need to interact with anyone (have I ever mentioned how many people I talk to in a given day? it can be somewhat overwhelming). Choose your movie, swipe your card, get your movie and go.

Plus, I'm not(oops) checking movie reviews via iPhone before choosing one to help cut down on the crappy movies.

We watched The Waterhorse the other night and I rather liked it though they really stretched the family rating with the violence and gunfire towards the end. Not especially appropriate for the younger viewers like Grady. But gorgeous scenery and pretty well done, if a little maudlin at times but that's part of the Scottish culture so it fit.

The movie we watched last night was okay and suffered because it tried to be more than it needed to be while leaping past important story elements. The movie was Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium starring Dustin Hoffman and the effervescent Natalie Portman (sporting a slick Aubrey Hepburn-esque look and hairstyle). The movie had its moments where it was entertaining and beautiful but it also had too many moments where it felt like it was trying (and failing) to be a new Willy Wonka.

But, amid the pap and trying-too-hard-Hoffman, there were a couple of quotes that I really liked and stuck with me.

The first is:
Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.
The second is actually a mini scene:
Mr. Edward Magorium: 37 seconds.
Molly Mahoney: Great. Well done. Now we wait.
Mr. Edward Magorium: No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.
The movie could have been better, it could have developed more characters from the cardboard cutouts (Jason Bateman needed to thaw alot earlier and more noticeably). But at least they had some memorable lines. Some movies don't even have any of those.

Or my name ain't Nathan Arizona! Yes, Peter, that was for you.

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SI's All-Scandal Baseball Team
A rare forward from my busy brother....(my comments in italics)

Baseball's All-Scandal Team featuring:

First base: Mark McGwire Mob informers are easier to find than Big Mac
Second base: Billy Martin
Shortstop: Miquel Tejada The only active player on the list
Third base: Wade Boggs
Catcher: Paul Lo Duca Lo Duca was news to me but it makes sense
Left field: Barry Bonds Even without the steroid taint, he's got more skeletons than a coroner
Center field: Ty Cobb Truly one of the nastiest and least sportsmanlike stars of all time
Right field: Darryl Strawberry Should have been named Sniffberry but they got the straw part right
Designated snitchhitter: Jose Canseco Self-absorbed bitter needle junkie with terrible hair and a penchant for turning on former friends and teammates
Pitcher: Roger Clemens The poster child for bluster, lies, obfuscation and, eventually, tearful admissions and then jailtime, I hope
Pitcher: Dwight Gooden Dr. Feelgood and Straw were like a coke sniffing baseball star duo, they strike out and hit home runs during the day and snort massive piles of Columbian flake
Pitcher: John Rocker Racism IS alive and well in major league sports
Bench: Albert Belle, Rafael Palmiero, Sammy Sosa, Mickey Mantle Palmiero is the poster child for stupidity and hypocrisy, Sosa's the poster child for post-steroid pump shrinkage (he turned into his little brother when he went off the juice) and Albert Belle's the poster child for 'roid rage
Manager: Pete Rose I believe Pete Rose has gotten a raw deal and should be in the Hall for his accomplishments as a player and its a joke he's being held out because of a personal vendetta
Owner: George Steinbrenner Owners should own, players should play, coaches should coach and the Steinbrenners should SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!
Trainer: Brian McNamee I have no animosity towards McNamee except for that his injections helped the Yankees cheat and win more games than they had a right to. On second thought, burn him!

I skipped over some of the lessor known and not so contemporary players to focus on these fellas. I find it rather interesting that, of all of those listed above, one is still playing, Miquel Tejeda. The rest have gone into hiding or are scaring the shit out of local yokels on company teams (can you imagine facing John Rocker at the company picnic?).

It may not be actually true but it seems like the majority ran afoul of cocaine and hot chicks (or in Clemens' case, HGH and fugly country singers).

Who else should be on the list?
I'd say Ken Caminiti's one, Jeff Kent should get an honorable mention for being such an ornery liar (broke his wrist riding his motorcycle in contradiction to his contract and lied about it), Scott Boras (not a ball player but he's done as much more harm to the game than any other non-player by disvirtue of his contract negotiations and escalating salaries) and Bud Selig (complicit and profited from rampant steroid use as owner and commissioner). I'm sure there are plenty, plenty more that could be added here.

[Update: Big Joe read the post before I'd had a chance to amend it to remove Tony Gwynn from the list. I'd crossed my wires and was thinking about Kirby Puckett who got crazy after his retirement and might have been crazy during his playing days. Apologies to Padres fans and fans of Mr. Gwynn. My brain isn't quite up to full speed after last week's meltdown.]

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May 11, 2008
My Flag's Still Here
It feels like I've been through a battle (the likes of which I'll not disturb you with) and I'm still a bit sore from the whole thing. But I am back on my feet again and not half doubled over in pain anymore, which is kind of a refreshing change.

And just in time to go back to work tomorrow. Some interesting happenings on that front.

It feels like spring has just sprung or I just got a new pacemaker or something. I'm pretty damned happy to be alive again.

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May 9, 2008
NWoTD - Neccophilia
Neccophilia - a compulsion to have sex with a Necco wafer or wafers.

Not a word for widespread use and likely not even a new word but it made me smile a little bit and that's all I need.

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Dear Snooty Old Lady in the Benz
You do not, in fact or theory, own the road. You do not, in any way, shape or form, own the parking lot outside Safeway and you most definitely do not have any right to treat crosswalks and people in them like personal insults.

You'd do well to slow down, learn that other people exist in the universe and not try to run people, like me, over just because you're too high and goddamned mighty to depress your brake pedal in your expensive ego-stroke of a car.

Or, if you do, don't look so pissed off when someone, like me, reminds you what a crosswalk is all about. Or just keep your windows rolled up and your wraparound sunglasses firmly in place. Or you could just run me over and we'll see how long you keep that car while cooling your heels in jail for attempted manslaughter. Or you could just slow down and show a mote of grace when someone is in a crosswalk in front of you.

As it is, you provided a moment's entertainment to a mother and her daughter who overheard my spur of the moment education I attempted to impart to you about crosswalk manners. I'm sure the lesson was lost when it bounced off your coif or your superiority complex though.

Seriously though, show some class, show some societal concern, show some manners, slow down, cede the right of way and quit being such an uptight lead-footed bitch.

Sincerely,
Erik

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May 8, 2008
My Little Button Pushing Monkey Gets to Two
During my long day of complaining, my wife mentioned that she had a stomachache around this time two years ago. If you can call being nine months pregnant a stomachache.

Sullivan was born the next day and will turn two friggin' years old tomorrow. To say that the kid is a pistol is an understatement.

The delight he takes in baiting his big brother and the twinkle he gets in his eye when he grabs the centerpiece toy from Grady and runs like only he can run. His grin gets even bigger when Grady chases him screaming. This happens pretty regularly but we are working on teaching Grady how to not react which will, hopefully, convince Sully to find another way to have fun.

Happy Birthday, Sullivan. May your next year see you find a wee bit of restraint and some way to take just the top edge off your scream (or you can choose to employ your scream less often, that would be alright too). Either way, you never fail to make me smile even when you're being a wicked little bugger.

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Day Four on the Nausea Train
I've been pretty quiet this week and especially the last few days. The main reason for this is that I've had the worst case of gastro upset I've had in the last five or ten years.

What this means in my moment to moment is that it feels like someone has been kicking me in the stomach for the last few hours, they switched to my kidneys for an hour or two and then back to kicking me in the stomach again.

To say that this week has sucked would be pretty strong understatement. I stayed home from work yesterday, will stay home again today and really just want to stop feeling like I got run over by kicking machine. Oh and I wouldn't mind if my bowels stopped their rebellion as well.

Lovely post, eh? Be glad you're not living it.

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May 6, 2008
Squeeze Every Inch Out of That Gas Tank
100 Hypermiling / ecodriving tips & techniques for better mpg.

Good info on how to make the most of your car's efficiency to get every last inch out of that gas that is going to do nothing but get more expensive.

Be careful with the over-inflation of tires though. Too much pressure plus too much speed plus too much heat build up can equal a really, really bad day and a car rolling multiple times.
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Changing Priorities
Once upon a time there was almost nothing more important to me than page views, entry pages, exit pages and time spent on site. I had a compulsion to check my SiteMeter stats multiple times per hour, dozens of times per day.

Because there was, at the time, a sense of clicks = cash. And there still is an equation that relates greater income production to higher click throughs.

Only, somewhere along the way, I stopped caring in the least about traffic. I stopped caring who read my blogs and started caring alot more about who comments, who comes back and who has their own blog I can read as well.

I can't remember the last time I checked my site stats nor can I remember the last time I got a check from Google AdSense for the traffic I do generate on my alternative blogs but I'm sure another will show up some day and it'll be nice to have a "free" $100 to spend. Usually it just goes back into the tech, either some new widget or webspace or a domain registration.

Anyway, I just thought it was kind of an interesting evolution of my blogging to have cared soooooo much about traffic to now not giving it the slightest thought.

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NWoTD - Nupgrade
Apropos of nothing save my brain that never stops, today's new word isn't especially kind or nice but when has that stopped me from publishing them?

Nupgrade - replacing the old wife with a newer and hotter model.

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Bonus!
It was with great relief that I unpacked my repaired laptop yesterday afternoon. Two weeks without its high power computational abilities was about a week and a half too long. But it was back, I was happy and I was also going to get OS 10.5 loaded on it as well (since the hard drive problem before prevented me from upgrading).

Imagine my delight when I got it fired up and noticed that my previously 100 gig hard drive had magically been upgraded to a much more spacious 185 gig post format drive.

The nicest thing about this unexpected upgrade is that I am finally going to be able to wrangle my ridiculous and sprawling music collection. There's been no easy way to roll through my multiple mp3 libraries and get rid of the duplicates, of which there are many.

So I'm importing all of the songs into iTunes, allow the application to copy the files to the iTunes folder. Once all of the disparate and overlapping folders have been consolidated into one mega folder, I'll use the Show Duplicates function and cull the extras from the list. I expect that'll take a little work as I haven't figured out an automated way to do it yet (got a solution? share it!).

But it will result in a final consolidation of four or five distinct but well overlapped libraries funneling down into one and I expect a space savings near a hundred gigs. Which means I'll be able to start on my next consolidation project of pulling all my photos into one mega-library. That'll be lots of fun, I'm sure.

I wish the repair hadn't taken so long but Apple more than made up for it with the hard drive upgrade. And boy does this MacBook Pro scream (in a good way now!).

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May 5, 2008
NWoTD - Busiting
Busiting - (biz-it-ing) students in Elementary schools like to think that they are capable of being both busy and visiting with others, hence busiting. Teachers, generally, hate it when students try to busit.

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Target Acquired
It never ceases to amaze that true rock stars can be playing almost in your back yard and you wouldn't know it unless you actually take a look and see.

In my, seemingly, neverending quest for employment that actually pays my bills, I have come across a start up in Santa Cruz that appears to be a near perfect fit for my skills, temperament and motivations.

The company was founded by a bonafide internet and technology rock star. A man with vision and the financial backing (his own cash since he appears to really dislike being beholden to any VC or shareholder interests) to do what he thinks is best which is good because he has a track history of success, innovation and of leading the market.

I have entered the next phase of my process, that of collecting information, finding out more about the company and the founder. Then crafting an entry into the company based on my experience and skills.

Ideally I would be able to function in a role best explained by a metaphor, I'd like to play the position of sweeper on a soccer team. That is, a player who can equally contribute on offense and defense, can use his judgment to impact the process at the point where he will be the most effective and to fly free to determine where to best help out.

My reasoning is that I have a solid body of experience in many aspects of running a business. From my public relations and media handling skills to my ability to rip into a data file and find relevant information for internal and external use. To my ability to provide extra horsepower on deadlines to my underutilized ability to develop marketing materials, slogans and logos. I have an awful lot to offer a company, not the least of which is my attitude which is pretty relentlessly positive and not prone to fits of freaking out.

I am not, of course, neglecting my other job searches and won't be putting all my eggs into this basket because I need to get and keep as many irons on the fire as possible. How's that for a bad mashup of metaphors? Eggs, baskets, irons and fires. Loverly.

Back to my research work. Woops.

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